


Becoming A Second Choice

by acciolunaa



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: M/M, Marauders Era (Harry Potter)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-01
Updated: 2021-03-02
Packaged: 2021-03-13 17:54:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,116
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29779914
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/acciolunaa/pseuds/acciolunaa
Summary: James Potter has been deeply in love with and secretly dating Regulus Black for a few months. Up until recently, he’s been seeing his lover solely through rose-colored lenses, but the beautiful pink curtain separating him from reality is beginning to fade and reveal the sickening, sad truth hidden behind. James must learn to come to terms with the truth about Regulus Black, he must come to terms with the fact that the insidious truth is inevitable, and he will have to decide between the greater good, the betterment of society, and his dear Reggie-love.
Relationships: Regulus Black/James Potter
Comments: 3
Kudos: 16





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> There were a million stars in the sky, but the one he needed could be found on earth, his Regulus Black

To be young and in love is a beautiful thing. The world is seen gloriously through crystalline, rose-colored lenses. Often, those of a hopeful mind will idealize their lover. Only to find that they are not as they seem. James knows that there is no such thing as lesser-person, he knows that value is not determined by birth. He knows blood supremacy is wrong, and soon he thinks he can convince his love of this too, he can save him. For our protagonist, James Potter, there was sick and insidious truth to be realized through his first love, Regulus Black. 

For Regulus Black, there is a war brewing in his heart. He wants to have his cake and eat it too. He wants to have his beautiful lover and he wants his ideology. He’s been convinced from birth that blood supremacy is the best there is for wizarding society. He even thinks it’s best for James. As he is radicalized, he believes his brother is daft for not journeying down the same pathetically violent road.

Our story ends when our young lovers are driven apart by their painful differences. When James is forced to grow up and face the realities of the war as he ages closer to adulthood and realizes he and Regulus will ultimately end up on opposite sides of the war. When Regulus is forced to realize that the price of his ideals is immeasurable.

Not many years after our story ends, our young lovers die. 

At 18, Regulus died alone in a cave, not necessarily letting go of his beliefs but realizing the extremism of his leader was mainly self-serving. He was nothing but a pawn in Voldemort’s scheme for immortality. He knew this now.

After obtaining the Horcrux and giving it to Kreacher to destroy, he watched as the blithering and crying house-elf disapparated. He was pulled to his watery death by inferi. There was thrashing and screaming, and then right after attempting to take his final breath, when the water finally filled his body completely and he gave up, there was just silence.  
Do not fret or feel too sorry for his death, dear reader, these were merely the consequences of his actions.

Two years later, James Potter, a young soldier fighting for societies’ betterment in a tragic war was in hiding after being marked for death by Lord Voldemort. And though he was in hiding, he was in isolated bliss. He had an amazing wife, Lily, they were very in sync, they understood each other and were deeply in love. He had a lovely bouncy son, Harry, named after his justice-seeking great-grandfather, the man who initially inspired this fighting spirit within James. Lastly, he was surrounded by people he could, supposedly, trust. 

When Voldemort found them, James was murdered. 

Though I’d be more sympathetic if you wept for this death, you should know James Potter would have been happy with the way his short life ended. As a father, protecting his son, Harry, was truly the most valiant way to meet his fate.

Of course, though, it would’ve helped if he didn’t have such a bad habit of forgetting his wand.


	2. Chapter One

If Slytherin wasn’t playing, Regulus rarely attended Quidditch matches. James recommended that he come watch and scope out the competition. Of course, this was James’s usual recommendation, nothing more than a weak excuse because deep within, all he wanted was to see Regulus cheer him on, to praise him, even if it was just a slight enthusiasm coming from just one shaggy-haired Slytherin in the stands. 

James had hoped, considering how big this game was and the fact that today would be their four-month anniversary, that Regulus would at least show up, even if he had to cheer on Hufflepuff to save face. James understood the need to keep their relationship a secret, still he couldn’t stop his heart from longing for the day he could openly call Regulus his.

There was a positive, however, given it was their four-month anniversary, James would be heading to the kitchens to pick up the picnic he asked the elves to prepare and spend a charming evening with his Reggie-love. He smiled to himself, awfully proud of himself for planning such a romantic date. 

Now, it was about one in the morning, aside from James himself, almost everyone in the dorm was finally asleep. Bar one nuisance, Remus Lupin, who was laying on his bed with the tip of his wand lit, reading some muggle novel James couldn’t bother to care about. 

“Oi, Moons, you should really get to sleep.”

“Sod off,” came Remus’s unbothered, monotone response.

There was nothing James wouldn’t do for Remus, but right now, he was an annoyance and impediment to his wondrously romantic evening, even if he was blissfully unaware of it.  
James decided that his best option was to just get up, get ready, and walk out the door and hope Remus doesn’t question it. So he did just that, rising from his bed, revealing that he was wearing not pajamas, but a crisp red button-down and a fresh pair of dress pants. Remus watched James as he slid on clean, white socks and then his nicest pair of shoes, then walked over to his mirror and began to comb the smallest amount of Sleakeazy’s Hair Potion into his hair.

“What are you doing?” Remus finally asked as James’s behavior was thoroughly unusual. 

“My father used to own the company,” James said, “he sold it for a nice bit of gold before I was born,” he continued to comb through his unruly hair, attempting to subtly avoid the question. 

“I know that Moneybags, you didn’t answer my question,” Remus was not easily fooled.

James frowned and picked up the Hair Potion, beginning to replace the lid, attempting to think of a response, attempting to appear nonchalant. 

“Going on a secret date with someone?” Remus questioned. 

James fumbled then dropped the small tin, practically in slow motion, thanking Merlin that Sirius and Peter were heavy sleepers and rushed to pick it up, breath heavy, mind buzzing, he’d been caught.

“Christ James, all you had to say was yes,” Remus jested.

James looked up from the mess on the ground, “You can not tell anyone, not Pete, and especially not Sirius.”

Remus was suspicious, but decided not to push it for now, “You’re secret’s safe with me, Lover Boy,” he watched on in amusement as James attempted to scoop up the hair potion with his hands, it was evident that James rarely ever cleaned anything that wasn’t his broom handle, “why don’t you use your wand for that?

“Forgot it in Minnie’s class, can’t get it until tomorrow,” James said, this wasn’t unusual for him, he always had a bad habit of forgetting his wand. 

Remus shook his head, “You’re thick,” he said, picking up his wand and pointing it at the mess, “scourgify.”

“You’re a lifesaver Moons,” said James, finally standing up and pulling his invisibility cloak out from underneath his bed. 

“Don’t mention it.”

Now, James headed toward the Slytherin common room, carrying the picnic he had the elves prepare, under his invisibility cloak. His heart was practically exploding with the excitement of seeing Regulus. He knocked on the door three times in rapid succession, followed by one delayed knock, and did this twice. This signal was an invention of Regulus’s, James admired Regulus’s natural talent for thinking things through, something he wished he was a bit keener on himself. 

Sitting alone in the gloriously lavish Slytherin common room, reading glasses on, perfect posture, refined, with the dim green glow from the forbidden sea flickering across his sharp features, casually reading a novel which donned a marvelous embossed bronze cover, was Regulus Black. He looked like he belonged there. 

Hearing the signal, he slowly closed his book, placing it on the emerald coffee table before him, knowing that no one in Slytherin would dare touch it. A small smile played against his otherwise serious pale face as he rose gracefully from his seat on the silk sofa, folding his reading glasses and hooking them over the hem of his shirt. He took his time approaching the door, making his dear James wait. Teasing him with time was a particular forte of his. Regulus knew that James enjoyed pining and earning his affections, even if they were already together. So he sparingly gave James the opportunities he craved to be chivalrous, even if they were as small as letting him feel special for waiting. 

Taking a deep breath, attempting to quell his own excitement, Regulus opened the silver-plated door to see the handsomely chiseled face of his beloved, his dear James Potter folding the invisibility cloak over his arm. With the low green light of the Slytherin common room now dancing delicately across James’s warm skin, the perfect mix of caramel and mint, Regulus found him utterly alluring, however, Regulus remained otherwise composed.

“Hey there, Reggie-love,” James’s smile was honest and true, he was beaming, Regulus was exquisitely dressed for the occasion. He was wearing a silk white button-down with puffy sleeves and a fitted black waistcoat. The outfit was accompanied by a lovely mauve cravat around his neck. He looked expensive. 

“Well, you cleaned up rather well,” Regulus said, feigning surprise, teasing James further.

“I know that’s your idea of a compliment so I’ll take it,” James was coquettish, his prior ennui over not seeing Regulus began to melt away. “You-you’re stunning my Reggie-love,” now James was smiling up at Regulus, his soft brown eyes making Regulus melt. 

Regulus’s heart fluttered passionately at the coy little nickname, Regulus absolutely loved it. 

“Thank you, dear,” Regulus said, closing the door behind him, “shall we?”

“We shall,” James threw the invisibility cloak over the two and took Regulus's hand in his, making their way to the courtyard. 

“So I heard you kicked Hufflepuff’s arse today,” Regulus said, quirking his brow and looking over to James. 

Oh, hearing Regulus praise his Quidditch accomplishments was a considerable boost to his already substantial ego. Not to mention the fact that rarely ever did Regulus use such vulgar language, he was truly the only one who ever got to see this side of his Reggie, he was honored. 

“Looks like we’ll be playing against each other for the house cup then -- I’ll go easy on you,” James said with a humorous, flirty wink. Regulus rolled his eyes at this, he was rather bemused, in his mind he was definitely crafting the most snarky response possible and would be saving it for the perfect moment. 

They shed the cloak as they came upon their usual late-night date spot, a secluded area in the trees, where the moonlight was particularly poignant. James tousled around setting up the picnic as Regulus stood and watched with a muted smile, he was abashed, James had truly outdone himself. 

He was setting out all of Regulus’s favorite foods, foods that Regulus knew James had only brought because he liked them, Regulus enjoyed what James, prior to their relationship would have referred to as, ‘Prissy French foods.’ 

At this point, however, James decided that now he liked these prissy French foods because they made Regulus smile, and he rarely smiled, and James, well he would do absolutely anything to see his Reggie-love’s sweet, quiet, almost shy smile. Regulus’s true smile, not his usual little smirk. 

When James finished, he looked up at Regulus, “Ta-da” he said, gesturing grandiosity to the scene he had laid out, “what do you think?” He bit his lip, his face was radiating with hope. He just wanted to make Regulus’s night remarkable and divine.

Regulus was finally smiling fully so that it reached his eyes, something it rarely did. He was looking down at the ground, nudging the dirt with the tip of one of his shoes, something he would regret later when he had to polish them. There was a sizable, wide-reaching grin etched into his visage. Regulus looked back up happily into James’s eyes. James was already putty in his hands, but when Regulus looked at him like that, he completely melted, from a malleable clay, into running water, he was completely and utterly Regulus’s. 

The couple lay somewhat cuddled up to one another, enjoying a dessert of lemon éclairs, James had an arm around Regulus’s waist. It was unfair, just how ethereal Regulus looked in the moonlight. The way his curly, shaggy black hair glowed almost with a tint of dark blue and the way his cheekbones caught the light like precious opal. 

James rested his chin on Regulus’s shoulder, gazing up at him with almost glazed-over eyes, he said coquettishly, “You’re stunning, you’ve bewitched me.”

Regulus smirked, taking a bite of his eclair to hide it, he adored James, he also adored working James’s feelings just a bit. Not to mention, he still had to get James back for his earlier remark regarding taking it easy on him in Quidditch, if there was one thing about bleary school-life he was passionate about, it was Quidditch. 

“I’m sure it’ll be stunning when Slytherin wins the house cup,” Regulus said, laughing slightly as he had effectively pulled James out of his loving daze. 

James looked at him, utterly abashed, after a second he laughed along. One of his favorite things about Regulus was that he was the reigning king of sarcasm and had an amazing sense of humor. 

“Well, considering you’re the only talent on Slytherin, I’ve just got to watch out for you,” James said, bantering back, but still flattering Regulus.

“If you get anywhere near me, I will not hesitate to knock you into the stands,” Regulus said with a mock-stern tone, ending the sentence with a smirk. 

“I think you enjoy knocking me into the stands a little too much,” James said, raising his eyebrow.

“I think you enjoy provoking it a little too much, as a chaser, there’s no reason you need to be that close to me,” Regulus folded his arms.  
“Maybe I do enjoy it just a bit,” and with that, James winked. 

“Are you ser-,” he stopped himself, shaking his head slightly, he knew better than to say ‘serious’ because then he’d get the obligatory workaround of puns before James got to the point, “Are you actually insinuating that you get a little turned on by it?” Regulus said with humorous disbelief. James was an idiot, his idiot, but an idiot nonetheless. 

James pursed his smiling lips, he enjoyed making Regulus a bit flustered. “That’s exactly what I’m insinuating, Reggie-love.”

“You’re unbelievable.”

“Unbelievably handsome?” James questioned, raising his eyebrows.

Regulus looked as though he was contemplating, “That too, I suppose,” Regulus looked down, he found showing affection somewhat difficult.  
James moved closer to him. Taking Regulus’s soft, bony hand in his. Regulus looked up at him, somewhat expectant.

“Regulus?” James questioned in an unusually soft tone.

“Yes, James?” Regulus moved just a bit closer, his nose almost brushing against James’s. 

“May I kiss you?” James asked, he was earnest, but not pushy. 

“You may.”

James leaned in fully, and with that, the young couple shared a kiss. It was beautiful, nothing like either had ever experienced before. It was romantic, star-crossed lovers, under the stars, one of them named after a star.


	3. Chapter Two

If there was one thing Regulus had a particular talent for, it was saving face, effectively constructing different versions of himself in accordance with what people expected from him. It was something that came to him naturally, a skill set he’d developed since birth. At 12 Grimmauld Place, he was the perfect pure-blood heir, under the stars with James, he was young and in love. 

When he had made his way back to his dorm, he didn’t bother attempting to get any sleep. He put on his uniform and sat in his bed, pulling out books and incomplete parchment essays in order to convince his roommates that he’d gotten up early to do homework. All the while his mind was aflame and butterflies danced in his stomach -- James had kissed him. 

He mentally berated himself for feeling so giddy, it was unbecoming.

The ornate magical clock on the wall struck six, effectively waking most of the boys in the dorm. However, Barty Crouch Jr., a particularly indolent Slytherin, turned over in his bed, ignoring the clock. 

Barty was sharp, dramatic, and creative. Though he got decent enough marks, he had great difficulty with school. You see, he was intelligent in a way that lent him towards more expressive and strategic endeavors. Regulus liked him because he was quick-witted and unconventional -- thereby making him a useful teammate and companion. 

Barty was what Regulus would consider his closest friend. Though Barty was as close to Regulus as Regulus would allow someone to be, Barty had no idea about James. There were many aspects of Regulus that Barty had never seen and Regulus had no intention of showing him. Again, Regulus was good at knowing which version of himself to present to who.

Regulus balled up a piece of spoiled parchment and threw it at the mound of blankets that engulfed Barty.

“Wake up you lazy sod.”

“You sound like my dad,” Barty said, poking his head out of the covers and then rolling his eyes.

“We have OWLs coming up, it’s not the time to miss class,” Regulus really did sound like a concerned parent. 

Barty narrowed his eyes at Regulus and turned around in his bed, facing away from him.

Regulus turned back to his work, he was looking at an almost complete essay on bezoars. He was mildly confused, he’d have to ask Severus about it at breakfast. He didn’t want to ask Professor Slughorn because he didn’t want him to think he was a fool. Regulus prided himself on appearing as though he had impossibly vast academic knowledge and Professor Slughorn was a bit woolly anyway.

He began to pack up his books, quills, parchments, and ink. He put on his robe and made sure to slip his wand into its inside pocket. Unlike James, Regulus was very meticulous about making sure he always had everything he needed, especially his wand. 

He shook his head slightly, making his shaggy hair a bit messy. Being with James made him appreciate the unruly look a bit more. Not only because James kept his own hair a bit wind-swept but because he made a point of playing with and messing up Regulus’s hair. Regulus wasn’t fond of this at first but quickly found it endearing.

Looking up into the mirror, he smiled. Usually, he could hide his giddiness well, but after James kissed him, every bit of him bubbled with excitement.

He mentally scolded himself once more, he didn’t want to leave the dorm appearing as anything other than collected, stony-faced Regulus Black. 

After practically pulling Barty out of bed and forcing him to put on his uniform, he and Regulus finally made their way down to breakfast. They sat amongst their usual clique at the Slytherin table. Regulus sat at the edge of the group next to Severus. He began to serve himself breakfast while striking up a conversation about bezoars. He found Severus himself rather boring and vexing, he had too much self-pity. Regulus was never transparent with his opinion of Severus because he was useful. They shared interests, they shared acquaintances, and they were both members of the Slug Club. 

James entered the dining hall with Sirius, Remus, and Peter, per usual. Sitting at their usual spot at the Gryffindor table on the far end of the hall he smiled up at Regulus. His big beautiful brown eyes were shining and brimming with happiness. When he thought none of his friends were looking, he began to shuffle in his messenger bag.

Regulus subtly watched him pull a swan-shaped piece of paper out of his bag. He blew on it and it took flight, making its way over to Regulus. 

As James intended, none of his friends took notice of the exchange. Well, none except for Remus who looked over his shoulder at Regulus, then quirked his brow knowingly at James who shrugged him off. Probably with some snarky comment Regulus couldn’t hear. 

Regulus hoped that whatever it was was enough to deter Remus, he couldn’t fathom his secret relationship being uncovered. 

Calming himself, he picked up the paper swan. He looked around, and after seeing that his mates were preoccupied with a discussion about OWLs and were therefore not paying attention to him, he unfolded the swan, revealing a sweet note: 

My Dearest Reggie-love,

When I got back to my dorm, I couldn’t sleep, I couldn’t stop thinking about you. So I decided to write this note. 

I know it isn’t much and it would be braver of me to say it to your face, but I’m completely and irrevocably enamored by you and I have something I need to tell you.

You’re incredibly intelligent and witty in a way that has me hooked on every word you say. You’re irresistibly attractive. And not to mention, you’re the only person I know whose Quidditch skills could rival mine.

Truthfully, it’s cowardly of me to say this in this way as opposed to saying it to your face. I had to say it though because I don’t know when I’ll get to be alone with you next. 

Okay, I’m writing too much, so I’ll just say it already; I love you, Regulus Black. 

I know we hadn’t planned on it (and I know how much you love your plans) but I was hoping that maybe I could see you tonight or tomorrow night?

With the utmost love,   
Your dearest James

Regulus’s heart fluttered in his chest. His face was hot. He knew in his heart that he was in love with James and suspected that James felt the same and this confession was so beautifully written that it made up for the fact that James hadn’t said it to him directly. He wanted to hug it to his chest and maybe squeal, but again, that would be rather unbecoming of him.

Gazing back up across the dining hall with a small smile, he caught James’s expectant eyes. James had a mile-wide grin plastered on his face.

Regulus mouthed a ‘tomorrow’ to him, earning him two shining thumbs up from his dear James. For a moment, they were dazed, staring longingly at one another across the hall.

The owl post arrived, effectively breaking the loving gaze between the two boys. 

A large, grand, barred owl swooped down onto the Slytherin table landing right in front of Regulus. 

He placed a knut in the owl’s little brown pouch and detached the package tied to its leg.

He unwrapped the package to reveal a parchment letter from his mother and a black, baroque-style box. 

He unfolded the letter excitedly and read:

Regulus,

Last night, your father and I had a lovely dinner with Narcissa, Bellatrix, and their husbands. Who should, if things continue in the marvelous direction they are, become your colleagues.

Bellatrix expressed to me that the Dark Lord is exhilarated with your aspirations to join him. 

He hopes to initiate you along with Mr. Rosier and Mr. Crouch, this summer. Not too long after your birthday seeing as you’ll be the last of the lot to turn 16. 

You’re father and I cannot express how proud we are that you’ve impressed the Dark Lord so much so that he would like you to join him at such a caliber.

Love,  
Mum 

P.S. Packaged with this letter is a lovely box of your favorite treats prepared by Kreacher. 

Regulus smirked to himself, rather proud of his accomplishments. 

Looking back at James, who was distributing gifts from his own homely package amongst his friends, a sudden, somber realization hit the young lover.

For a moment, all he could hear was James in his head, telling him that his aspirations were wrong. 

Regulus thought James too idealistic, he didn’t understand that this would be better for them both. 

Perhaps if he played his cards right, he could have both: James and his aspirations.

The first bell rang and he stood up, watching as James left the hall with his friends. After packing up his things, he was planted there for a second until Barty nudged him.

“Let’s get going Reg,” he said, gesturing towards the door with a nod of his head.

Regulus nodded and began walking with Barty. He folded the two pieces of parchment together, placing them in a pocket within his robe. Perhaps these parchments were symbolic of his more than double-life.


End file.
